hee buat malu je dowh...

smlm buat malu je duh...haih...smlm aku ingat ari rabu tau sbb aku nk siapkan ketas pmr yg ckgu tu bg so aku cam kelam kabut nk siapkan sebelum tuition start an...so da siapkan ptg smlm ketas tuh n then lps maghrib tuh aku siap2 nk g tuition...mmg x bley blah au...aku siap cam btol2 la d tuition an...then g la awl skit,n jumpe maimun n die ajak msk...die ty aku first time ke n aku pk xkn la slame nie die x nmpk aku dtg?then die ty aku keje bm da siap?bm?aku pk...then aku pk maybe die ckp psl ketas pmr yg aku bru siapkan ptg td...then die ckp bm lg so then aku ty die ari ni ari pe???die ckp slase...aku cam what???!!!aku ingatkan hari rabu dowh...mati2 ingat ari rabu...haih buat malu je...tp sbb salah hari aku dapat ckp ngan naim...tp serius die x brubah...pemalu nk mampos...serius malu...aku nk ckp ngan die,die pegi lari...haih sabar je la...nasib la die jawab klu x jwb x tau pe aku nk kt...tp aih...mmg malu nk mampos...aku da siap duduk kat ats kerusi da siap bukak beg da...aih...malu btol...tp smlm mmg agak laen r...aku buat ketas pmr tuh kat buaian dpn rumah hakim...x sngke lak die dtg borak ngan aku an...agak lame la gak ktorg borak...6.45 tuh aku da msk rumah da...aku pinjam death note ngan die...aku ingat scary tp lngsung x pown...tp an hehehe,x sngke die msk basketball...da terel main...gold medal ntuk peringkat daerah tuh...peringkat negeri perak kot klu x silap...die bru msk thn nie kire mmg power r...then aku cter la skit2 yg ktorg msk silat...hehe...laen kli aku nk dtg awl la kat tuition...leh ckp ngan naim...hahahahaha...

my mind...

hurm...it really is hard for me...yup,life is hard for me...well,not just to get on with my daily-life but most of all is when i wake up every morning and start to use my brain...of course its the same for everyone but i just want to say bout me k coz this is my site n i get to say what i want...

well,i kept thinking that my friends(not all but some people) are the same as another people like them...like this one...,i thought he's the same as tam and when i dont think bout him and i see tam,i'll remember him...i dont know why i think he's like tam coz they r like sky and earth(hahahahaha)...they dont even resemble each other in any way but yet i feel them the same...its really odd and bizzare,this kind of thinking...

then this another guy(its always guy,hehe)...when i see darius for the first time in the tv,it was like watching him in there...really2 excrutiating(is this it?)...!and there's one time when i had trouble with this guy,then i saw darius...its really frustrating coz that point of time i dont want to see him but watching darius was like watching him!and darius in the tv is not such a good guy...he's the most irritating,annoying,stuck-up nose guy i had ever seen...!and the horrible thought often came slipping into my mind;this hateful guy is him?!and it was really an awful thought of course!eewww...!i just hate it u know...totally...as much as annoying my friend could be but its not anything like that worst darius!

hurm...its tiring u know...my mind is like a machine that goes on forever when i'm awake...and there's not a second it doesnt think something odd if i'm not concentrating on something...it always has something to think...always something up its sleeves(what the heck is this???)...blaming on my own mind when i'm the one whose controling it...what a geek!is it geek?ah whatever...but to be frank,i am really a complicated one...mymind always does the thinking...so there r millions of thoughts going in my head...so u can say i'm a type of person who thinks highly of herself sometimes...not always of course but when its the mind which does all the thinking,u cant say if its true...^_^

friendship...

it triggers my mind...what is friendship? can friendship really be build through the cyber world? could that really be call friendship? normally it wont lasts...thats what people thought...but i really hope friendship that brittle would never end because sometimes we could find true and solid friendship through there...but could that really happen?two souls who never meet, never hear each others voice, never look through the eyes, never see the solid flesh and never see the expressions that showed on each others face when things happen...one can just absorb the feelings the other feel through the words written in the chat site...can really that be classify as a friendship? it doesnt matters to me...as long as someone sincerely want to build friendship with me, i'll accept...eventho we cant see each other and talk face to face, i'll try my best to liven the friendship and accept it as it is...but i'm sure if both people can meet, a stronger relationship can be build... that i dont deny...

mmm...

well nmpknye sume pun da ok blk...aku da x down n da ok blk...mmm...x sngke lak pe yg akan jd terbalik...tp memandangkan sume pun da ok so it doesnt matter anymore...as long as da ok its fine by me...tp die da pun dpt gelaran dri aku...heh...pe bley bwat...tp skunk da ok...maybe die lain...who knows...mmm...ok la da ok blk...tp aku nie haih...x tau pe nk ckp...lemah sgt...aih...pe bleh bwat...just try to be more stronger next time something like this happen...mmm...i'll try...to be more open...and not soo worked up over a simple thing...yup...i'll try my best...yup...i'll do that...but it sucks tho,coz its the fifth time i got down coz a guy and its the third time it gets too much of me...it really sucks...hmm...when will i stop being such a baby?......i dont know...next time i'll try harder...yup...

its just too harsh...

harsh...harsh...its too harsh...its too cruel...too much to endure...had to pass it on...coz its too much...too enormous to be taken alone...open hands help a lot...but still hazy all along the way...dont know when will be alive again...its just too much to take...too much to confront...too harshly damn serious...not a speck of pity...its the cruellest possible way that could be imagine by normal mind...too complicated to process...too curstful to explore...too much...way too much...cant take it right down to solid truth...tho its still fuzzy to see the cause...that ignited what ever had happened...its blur...cant make out what it was about...its too damn harsh...just awful...hit right to the pit of the belly...that causes soo much pain...just too much to take...too harsh...

universal...

today i had another confusing conversation...with my far-distant fren, kashif the 19-year-old boy...today talked a lot on the topic of love...blah3...my head kinda hurts coz i had to think what to say...but its an interesting topic...then i went to tuition today and i met lots of old frens but i didnt hv the chance to say hi...pity me...huhu...but the math tuition was fun...very interesting...the teacher was a talkative one and he did made it enjoyable...i love it...

4th of december...a special day...

yesterday i had alot of fun...hihi...wanna knw why?hehe...well becoz i was cheerful yesterday neh...i had an unusual good mood so the day shined brighter than usual...hehehe...i seemed wanting to talk to everyone that i can...i called my frens...and even when i chated i laughed a lot...maybe becoz i started the day with laughter...hehehe...my fren called me at 8 am so i was like still half-awake...so the conversation that we had was hilarious...and i also had this confusing chat with my other fren and my heart was thumping badly to what the conversation was taking to...and my mind was going crazy wether to concentrate onthe chat or to my bes fren problem...it was really a hard time that time...but i guess i sorted it out ok...forth of december eh...hehe...i have to remember that date...it does seemed special in a kind of way...hihi...today i had some fun too...watching sakura-chan and syaoran-kun...hihihi...i'm trying to be cute while writing this...hehe...its kinda funny tho...hahaha...i really wonder why i'm having this good mood these couple of days...hurm...?hehe..^_^

a cheerful day...?

hurm...last night i slept at 3 am in the morning...! u wanna knw why? well,coz i wanna watch tv...hahaha...what a funny excuse...if i stayed up coz i wanna study, thats more acceptable i think...hehehe...i could give up the bear just to watch anime...haha...freaky fizah...i'm suppose to wake up late today,no? coz that was the first time i stayed up soo late...and i should still be in bed rite now u knw...well, the reason i woke at 8 am in the morning was because someone woke me up by phone...someone called me...its the same person as the other day...but today i'm not angry at him...in fact,i'm pleased...we talked some time for about 11 minutes...haha its his phone...so much for his money...but i guess he didnt mind...he's sweet...and we talked when i was still half awake...and of course it became a weird and funny conversation...well coz i'm not fully awake yet so i heard wrong soo many times and talked rubbishly...hahaha...it was quite a joke...and it did wake me up fully...and now i'm kinda having an unusual good mood...cheerful unlike always...and i smiled a lot...and laughed too...and today ma fren is going out to watch movie...its a pity i cant go with her but i guess something good came out of it...i dont have to confront him...haha...i dont think i can after what he did...i still can accept him as my fren back but i dont think that hanging out with him is such a good idea...plus, i dont want my good mood to be busted by him...no thnx... and well its a good thing that she's finally has the chance to go out with the stucked-up-nose guy...hahahaha...i wish u guys to have fun and i hope it'll work out...well i guess thats it for now...i'll see u around..toodles...! eww disgusting! hahaha...ok tata...

kashif...

hari nie aku g nilai 3 sbb mak nk bli brg2 ntuk along...then aku dapat bli beg bru for next year...klu x slp aku aku bli beg quick silver...wane biru la...of course la an...sbb lgpun beg skunk nie besar gedabak...mmg x ssuai ntuk pompuan cam aku...so aku bli la beg yg aku ske...yg d tulisan2...then ktorg g mkn kat seremban...mkn kat restoran minang...tp seriously aku x ske mkn kat situ sbb layanan die x bgs lngsung...aku x ske...hurm...forget bout that...then aku blk...smyg2 sume...then aku online...d 2 emel dri kashif...he is so so so sweet...the emel he gave me r soo lovely...its bout frens...he gave me d same emel...maybe he didnt realise it he sent twice...he is really a great fren...each time i chat with him, he is very polite n very sweet...he is such a great fren...sometimes he even give me advice...n i'm flattered when he do that...he's 19...i happy to hv him as my fren...that's for sure...hihi...

hahahahaha

hurm...hari nie aku bgn cam agak awal dri biase...sbbnye de org kejut aku ngan cara yg agak menyakitkan ati aku...die anta voicesms yg kosong kat aku...phm2 je la ble voicesms msk mesti d ringtone n ble aku jwb xd bende pown yg die ckp....banyak kli plak tu die wat cmtu...n aku cam agak geram tdo aku diganggu an...then last skali aku angkat tuh akhirnye die ckp...isi percakapan die tuh sket tp membangunkan aku dri mamai dgn segarnye...die ckp 'oi anak dara bgn la...' n aku pown trus segar dgn geramnye...lepas tuh aku bgn trus n mandi...ms tuh dlm kul lbh kurg 9 pg r...n aku pun bgn n msk meggi je sbb xd bende nk mkn...aku pun cam biase tgk tv...aku ingat nk sapu an tapi then angah turun...terbantut niat...lps aku da turun tuh aku bg msg kat dak yg kejut aku tuh dgn rs geramnye an...n lps tuh aku cam rs menyesal so i said sory but then die pun cm xnk lyn n aku pun trus x lyn...okla watea la an...skali kwn lame aku si acap tuh bg msg kat aku...n yg x bley blah nye die bley ckp yg aku da x ingat die n aku d pkwe bru!eeee bdk tu aku eeeee ntah la an... dlu aku msg n kol die,die yg xnk lyn skunk leh lg ckp yg aku da lupe kat die!siap bley tmbh yg aku d pkwe bru!mmg mlampau...mlampau...mmg mlampau...lps tuh aku d ty die, die smpn lg x jam pooh yg aku bg tuh an tp die cam senyp je n x bls...so aku pown senyp je cam 'ok fine'...die xnk jwb xpe...then ptg tuh aku cam wat video ntuk dibg kat mas...n ble aku tgk blk...aku cam x caye tu aku au...sbb cam laen gler...aku x sngka aku cam hurm...da brubah?well aku tgk muke aku sore aku cam len gler...cam aku x knl...n mmg aku ssh nk caye tu aku...sbb mmg cam aku x knal...n cara aku ckp pun...aku x sngke seklakar tuh...mmg ble aku dgr blk sbb d time tuh aku tunjuk kat mas poster naruto aku n aku cam 'ter'excited n mmg lwk gler sore aku tuh!!!jd sblm nie ms aku gler2 psl naruto sume mmg urgh memalukan btol! hahahaha bru aku sdr skunk...betapa slame nie aku da begitu byk memalukan dri aku sdri...hahahahahahaha